Tag: mentoring

Letter to Elon on Friendship and Fly Swatters

Lucy Moore

April 14, 2025

I bought a flyswatter. You’ll see why.

Dear Elon –

I have friends who think I’m crazy to be writing to you. Some say “You should be more careful. You might end up in jail!” I mean, really! You would never lock up a law-aiding citizen just for exercising free speech, would you? I tell them that could never happen, and they go away muttering “she’s lost it.” Do you have friends who think you’re crazy? Or maybe the first question should be “Do you have friends?” I’ve never seen a photo of you with pals, just playing pickle ball, or sitting down around a bowl of kale chips and hummus, or taking a nature walk together through a botanical garden.

This week I focused my 5-things on friendships – old, new and potential. We need each other in these stressful times, but if we are putting all our energy into protests, letters to the editor, calls to congress, keeping up with the latest news, we can find ourselves isolated and exhausted, right? So here are my 5 things from last week, and I must say, I feel very refreshed and ready to resist with new zeal.

  1. I met with a group of mediator friends to compare notes on how to make peace when people are so divided and whether we should all hang up our mediator hats, and take to the streets. It was a great conversation. I think you would have been very interested in how passionate we were. Wish you could have been a fly on the wall.
  2. I bought a new fly swatter – oops, don’t get me wrong. This has no connection to your being a fly on the wall. Just an unfortunate juxtaposition. Fly season is here and I need to be prepared to smash those pesky little things that seem to be everywhere, buzzing nonsense and spreading evil germs.
  3. I met on zoom with a young woman that I am going to mentor in mediation. I have mentored many students and those looking to change careers and each conversation leaves me full of new ideas and optimism about the future of the profession. Mentoring is really a two-way proposition, don’t you agree? Even we so-called experts have much to learn, if we can just listen.
  4. I am not technically savvy, but I tried to tidy up my Facebook page and my 5-things-i-did group page. I have a lot of friends, some of them I actually know, and many of them are enjoying my letters and postcards to you. They send me photos of what they write you, so I know you are getting more and more mail from the 5-things movement, and that makes me so happy. I wonder where you are keeping them all, not in a circular file, I hope.
  5. I took a beautiful walk with my husband up a creek bed near our house. There were huge Ponderosas, fantastic rock formations, and a cloudless, bright blue sky. I always love to see the generations of trees – the old majestic ones high above the rest, the middle-aged ones coming on strong, the teenagers bursting with hope and energy, and the toddlers, sprouting needles, new and shiny.  We met others enjoying the day, some with walking sticks, some with kids, some with dogs, some with all three. We were all friends for that moment in time and space.

Excuse my poetic detour!  I know you want a short, concise report of the five things I did, but some weeks it’s more complicated, more human… and more important.

Next week, I’ll be back to business, I promise!

Have a nice day,

Lucy

And my companion postcard:

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Toothpaste and Optimism

Lucy Moore

I came home yesterday to find this four-pack of toothpaste on the kitchen table, alongside the padded envelope it came in. My husband explained that local stores didn’t carry this particular one that he likes and so he ordered it online, and this is how it came, in a four-pack. These are not small tubes.

“That is the most optimistic thing I’ve seen in a long time,” I declared.

“You mean like it assumes that I’ll live that long?” He asked, adding “or that if I do, I’ll still have teeth by then?”

“Yes, and that the country will last that long, and the planet, for that matter, and that even if we somehow hang on, we’ll be thinking about toothpaste.”

He was unmoved, and went to squirrel away his supply in the bathroom closet.

I realized how pessimistic I am. It is there under layers of denial, fear, anger and numbness. It is there under a spunky veneer of carrying on and doing normal things, like planting tulip bulbs for seasons to come, freezing leftover green chile stew for next winter, mentoring a young person for a bright future, renewing a library card, having coffee with a friend, going to a grandchild’s graduation from high school. These are things I never questioned. They are what we do in normal times when we assume the future, although unknown, will be more or less what we’ve experienced to date. But now, I am aware that in each of these things there is fragility and uncertainty. I am wistful, anticipating such political, economic and climatic upheaval that the ordinary will be threatened and may not survive. I’m filled with nostalgia for what I still have but may lose in the months and years to come.

And, so I celebrate my husband and his more-than-a-lifetime supply of toothpaste. Let’s go for it. Along with my premature nostalgia and forecasts of doom, let’s imagine that yes, those tulips will come up in a sunny, peaceful community; and yes, we will thaw out that stew and remember a springtime of fear that is now past; and yes, my young mentee will be marching ahead, boldly on a career path that will be good for her and for all of us; and yes, the doors of the library will still open at 9 and close at 6; and yes, I will have coffee with a friend who chose not to move to Canada; and yes, that grandchild will be finding herself, just as I did, with a long road of opportunity and challenge ahead.  

The future is unknown, but let’s give optimism a chance.

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What Real Diversity Looks Like

Lucy Moore

Some of the most rewarding work I do is with my dear friends and colleagues Roberto Chene and Nadine Tafoya. Together we are a multicultural team ready to spring into action to rescue poor White organizations struggling with issues of diversity, equity and inclusion. Imagine superheroes, at a moment’s notice, tackling the deepest historical trauma, the most entrenched implicit bias, cross-cultural miscommunication of epic proportions, all in a single workshop! A ridiculous image, but on a good day it can feel like that.

An Hispano and a native New Mexican, Roberto is a consultant and trainer specializing in helping non-profits, agencies, and others who are struggling to create and sustain intercultural workplaces. He is a genius at delivering difficult messages about systemic racism, internalized oppression, and all the other loaded themes at the core of so much conflict and angst today. Nadine is a member of the Mescalero Apache Tribe in southern New Mexico and lives at Santa Clara Pueblo, her husband’s pueblo north of Santa Fe. She is a health consultant working with federal and state agencies, universities, and local groups to improve behavioral health service delivery to Native communities.  This means constant attention to the dynamics between the powerful and those in need. She walks this tightrope with skill, diplomacy and fearless honesty.  

Grandpa Roberto
Nadine

 I am so proud to partner with these two superheroes to consult and offer workshops on building successful intercultural workplaces. I can offer a White perspective, often an uncomfortable place for me to be. Each of us brings history to the team – personal and cultural – and each of us must be honest with ourselves and others about these histories and how they impact us. Nadine, Roberto and I have worked together for decades and have helped each other build skills and gain insights that make us able – even eager — to do this work that might seem like torture for many. For us, our mutual appreciation and respect, as well as the deep affection we hold for each other, carries us through.

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Updates

Lucy Moore

This month saw several updates I want to share with you. You will see links to the previous posts, which hopefully you can click on. (I am cautiously proud of my ability to imbed links…holding my breath.)

Jasmin, me, Raven

Mentoring: Picture a convention of mediators. It is a very accommodating crowd, to the point of absurdity at times. A group of us stand in the lobby of the hotel, ready to go to dinner. Where shall we go? Oh, how many vegetarians do we have? Is pork a problem? What about lactose intolerant? We could do seafood, but perhaps someone is from Seattle and would like something else? Tacos are good, and can be gluten free? At some point I want to scream, “I’m going for pizza, dammit! Who’s with me?” But it is all worth it. These are my people, my fellow seekers of peace, my tribe, and I treasure each and every one. And among them this year were two young women whom I am mentoring: Jasmin Munoz and Raven Pinto. I was the proudest of mentors as I watched them each present their recent work. (more…)

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Giving a Hand, Stepping Aside

Lucy Moore

not my birthday cake, but it could have been!

I had a birthday recently, a reminder (as if I needed it) that the ranks of those younger than me are growing, and the numbers ahead of me are dwindling. And perusing the paper on that special day, I read that composting human bodies is now legal in Washington state, the ultimate in recycling. It made me think about life and how to make the most of every stage, every year, even the end. I am not ready for composting, nor do I think I will ever be ready to join the teeming activity of a compost heap if it looks anything like mine.

All this makes me think about my responsibility to those aspiring facilitators and mediators, who are behind me in line, wanting a career like mine. I am still working as a facilitator and mediator because I can still do it and I love it, but in so doing I am taking work away from some younger aspiring mediator. We hear about a crisis in some universities where long-lived professors refuse to give up teaching, and lower level associates, ready to move upward, are stuck waiting in line for the opening that never comes. I do not want to be that old fogey unwilling to step aside, but I want to practice at least a little as long as I can. Here is my solution: I mentor. (more…)

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